Indescribable;;

Monday, November 19, 2007: just a tad.

maybe its because i'm tired,
or maybe its because i'm just plain impatient.

i wish i had a car to clock my hours in, no one wants to let me use theirs. its understandable, but frustrating, i guess. looks like i wont get my liscence before i go back home.

maybe i just need to focus my attention into what's important, instead of what's not.
maybe i just need to stop thinking about what i want.

the two 18ths this weekend went ok, good time of catching up with others after exams, meeting new people. (: i was happy, even though i was just a bit tired, and just abit annoyed at certain things, but it was fun (:

i want to go to the beach.
i need to work.
i wonder how different things are gonna be next year.
i wonder if things could have been different this year.
i wonder how i am going to cope with so much on my plate next year.

too much thinking. i need some sleep. visiting swan valley tmr with debs, her sister and esther. yay! (:

a shout of praise.
12:27 AM

Saturday, November 17, 2007: love, in general

i've been watching alot of How I Met Your Mother recently, if you dont know what this show is, its just another comedy, like scrubs, or friends. i guess although there's alot of stupidity and lame-ity going on in the sitcom, there's plenty of nice themes and stories under all that farce. there was this particular episode in season 1 that spoke about loving someone, i think it was marshall and lily talking to both ted and robin about how love was meant to be easy. when you finally met the person you're meant to be with, loving him is easy.

scarily, i think james said that before too.

since when was love ever easy? maybe i'm just being a tad bit skeptical about finding your "true" love, or maybe i just dont want to believe the half truths that television brings. maybe i've been fed with too many fairytales for my own good, or maybe its just that i cant bring myself to love anyone else other than myself...

drawing a parallel to my walk with God, have i ever loved God enough? maybe i can never love Him to the extent that He loves me, but i guess that one liner made me think about how if i had always been walking close to God, loving Him wouldnt be so difficult.

in my love,
You be lifted high.

in a lighter mood, guess who passed her driving test? 25 hours of driving to go, 1 hazard perception test, and someone's getting her p's! :D

a shout of praise.
5:21 AM

Tuesday, November 13, 2007: i'm going to phuket!

so exciting :D:D:D
we've got not enough money to go to hongkong ):
i suggested going to tioman, then shereen and jon were like why tioman? go phuket lah.

so we're going phuket! :D
now we're calculating everything in baht.
lets say we're budgeting 500 AUD, then that means we have S$665 which means we have $13,300 BHT. WE'LL BE SUPER RICH!
jon is even weirder, he's calculating everything we spend here in baht :S he's weird.

actually we're not really rich. not really. haha.
going to look at the pretty beaches there.
i spent my whole arvo looking at hotel reviews and places to see and eat and things to do.
and car rentals are SO cheap over there! :D yay!
i want to go see the national park, it looks so pretty and serene; the waterfalls look so pretty!! although i dont think the rest of them want to see it ):
i've pretty much planned the whole trip already (: whoopedoo!

we're gonna driving over either to phi phi island or ao nang in krabi, so exciting! the beaches look perfect (: although i think we have pretty beaches here in perth too (:

I CANT WAIT!

10TH feb to 14th feb (: what a nice time to go.
my birthday to valentine's day
then a mad rush back to sg and pack for perth and then fly back on the 15th
how hardcore.
how exhilarating.
(:

a shout of praise.
3:14 PM

Sunday, November 11, 2007: WHOOPEEDOOO (:

yay, exams finished yesterday!! (: and if you're wondering if i got the day right, yes, we have exams on SATURDAYS. hahah

i'm glad everything is over and wow, i cant believe i made it through one year of uni just like that. i was just talking to ankita after the ob paper yesterday about how quickly this year has passed and how we're gonna be second years next year.. and we were like. OMG, 2nd year!!! i dont exactly know if its a good thing or bad thing, but who cares? 3 month summer holiday, here i come! :D

there so many things i wanna do this holiday. (: work, save money, go back to singapore and spend, go to hongkong, pass driving, roadtripping, have dvd marathons, go tan at the beach, mm. (: sounds nice.

woohoo! (: i'm so excited for this holiday. i think it will actually pass by in a whizz.. too quickly actually. and then school starts again, with an even heavier workload. ): i dont want to be in 2nd year.

still considering the role of bs leader next year. there's so many things to manage next semester i dont know if i'll be able to cope. i guess one thing on my mind is where my priorities lie. i guess its hard knowing that i have to work, study and manage friends, and on top of that have slack time and go for ocf stuff. is sacrificing one whole day to mediate on His word and prepare for bs really what i want? truthfully, i dont know if i can bring myself say yes to this question. should i take this step to trust in God, and believe that He will make time for me, or rather, in better words, that i should be making time for Him? maybe i've been giving too many excuses about hiding my hurt or that i'm not good or walking closely enough, or that i dont want to commit so much since i have no time.

maybe its because ocf is lacking in bs leaders that why i feel a need to serve. like how i feel i should go back to evangel to serve in youth ministry.

mm.

a shout of praise.
10:13 PM

Saturday, November 10, 2007: joel's visit to perth (:

we went out for a morning yesterday (: it was funnn.. judy, me, will (joel's future housemate) and joel went out for breakfast with katie, joy, jon and sherene at barretts then we went to the beach to show joel around! then at the spur of the moment we decided to quickly show joel freo and then back to subi to have lunch at edo and pass by church to show joel how church looked like and then it was time to send joel back to his parents :'( anyway, it was a fun time of taking time off to spend with a long time no see friend and off from studies for abit. i'm kinda freaking out now though.. 5 hours till my LAST paper! happy but anxious because i know i'm not ready. lucky intro to law people finish all their exams in like.. 2 hours ): while i hang on for about another 7 hours. AHHHHH. killllll meeeee nowwwwww. anyway. photos!! enjoy (:

a shout of praise.
7:12 AM

Friday, November 9, 2007: happy memories (:

just decided to tidy up my blogger space, had too many blogs that never continued e.g. winter camp because i was trying out templates but chin wee did the wc blog in the end, and tester blogs etc. came across some of the old group blogs that i used to have (: check this out! here, and here.

putting up some photos! kudos to our resident cam whore, shereen who just whips our her nokia 6388 WHENEVER and WHEREEVER, but still, much appreciated (: you make my blog happy with pretty pictures..

and guess who's here? ;)

a shout of praise.
7:21 AM

Thursday, November 8, 2007: hurray!!

YAY! one more paper down, and its the FINAL PAPER on sat!!
I'M SO HAPPY, SO HAPPY, SO HAPPY!

((:

time to get moving and lose some exam weight S:

a shout of praise.
7:38 PM

Sunday, November 4, 2007: in our weakness, be lifted high

Jesus Lover of My Soul - Hillsong
Jesus lover of my soul
Jesus i will never let You go
You've taken me, from the miry clay
Set my feet upon a rock
And now i know

I love You
I need You
Though my world may fall i'll never let You go
My Saviour
My closest Friend
I will worship You until the very end

alot of things have happened recently, last night being the penultimate point of trust in God that nothing bad will happen. and maybe every night from last night would be a equally hard time to trust that God has everything under control in His perfect plan.

funny how everytime i read or hear something, it seems like God is trying to encourage me to keep persevering. this verse came up in the sermon today:

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2nd Cor 12:7-10

maybe being weak isnt such a bad thing. accepting our reality that we dont have the power to change things the way God can, is something that i really need to learn.

You've taken me, from the miry clay, and
Set my feet upon a rock

a shout of praise.
9:47 AM

Friday, November 2, 2007: random songs

i've been listening to random songs lately, those kind of music which you listen to when you study, not too rock or noisy.. just out of curiosity i just looked up the lyrics to one of the songs that is on my study music list:

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.

Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.
Hide and seek.

Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.
Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah off course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it’s just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

um, i still really dont understand the lyrics. hahahaha. oh well (: nice music

a shout of praise.
10:34 AM

Thursday, November 1, 2007: coping with disappointment

disappointment in itself can kill someone, or rather, disappointment is enough to get me discouraged and unmotivated.

i think its either i've been very unlucky in macro or i havent been putting in as much effort as i thought i did. i'd like to think its the former. maybe its because Paul Crompton doesnt like me, or maybe its because i'm too shy in class, or maybe its because i havent the capacity to understand this unit, all excuses that i like to form in my little brain.

i've been pretty disappointed with my grades recently. stat, ob, macro.. nothing much i can do about it now except to study even harder for exams and hope for a really nice grade that will pull up my term average. or maybe its just because i have very high expectations of myself. i want to get a HD for MA and stat, and hopefully a D for macro and ob, but it seems now that i've a lot of marks shy for a D in macro, and lets just not talk about ob, i havent started that yet. maybe and hopefully i will do well in MA and stat.

maybe i've been a little to disappointed to see how little i depend on God for wisdom. maybe i've been too tired of studying that i forget to rely on God for His strength.

remind me again of Your soveriegnty in all circumstances, remind me again of my priorities.

a shout of praise.
4:17 PM